I'm back on the mainland now, living in Georgia with my dad for the next couple of months. Sharing with you about my time in Hawaii in hind-sight may be the best way for me to paint a picture of God's handi-work in the past six months of my life. I sense, in many ways, that the end of my time there was a beginning.
After having set foot on the island, the constant change from my "normal" didn't stop. I went from being a leader, to being led. I went from living in my own wonderful, clean, cozy apartment to being crammed in a cave (some may call it a dorm room) with cavemen (some may call them roommates) who, let's say, defined "comfortable living" different from myself. I went from having a great vehicle, to cherishing a ride in a 1991 Camry wagon anytime I could jump in my buddy's car with him. (The up-side of walking everywhere- mind you Hawaii is a mountain... that means everything is a hill- is that my gluteus muscles went from flat to fab in six short months, haha.) You get the idea. Change was everywhere.
It was difficult for me at first: being the oldest and least experienced person in the acting school. I found myself facing any and every insecurity that I had. Learning to be a truly great actor takes focus and vulnerability. I can't say that I had tremendous amounts of these before I started my journey into acting (and these are qualities I'll keep pursuing). It was incredible to see God give me exactly what I needed, though.
I remember asking the Lord what He wanted to say to me about my time there. He said: focus. A day or so later one of our leaders was sharing a devotional that challenged us to go to the Lord and ask Him what to walk toward during our time there. Again: focus. Soon after that one of our acting teachers who had flown in from L.A. taught us about the value and necessity of focus in acting. He taught us how to keep focused on the main objective in a scene, no matter what distractions may arise. Haha! God was so, so good to throw me that lifesaver... I may have sunk without it.
As the months went on and challenges were overcome, myself and my fellow actors grew in so may areas. We had shot many short films and it was time for our big premiere. We set up our main gathering building on campus as a red-carpet venue and invited the whole campus out. It was cool to see how the Lord orchestrated the whole night. There was a group on campus that needed money for their outreach. We collaborated with them to prepare and serve concessions and sell tickets for us so that our actors and directors groups could enjoy our premiere. The group ended up making several hundred dollars that enabled them to do their mission trip!! God is so good in all of His ways and He shows up for all of His children, every time. We had so much fun that night, and so did the attendees- about 300 people came! (BTW, yours truly won the "Most Improved Actor" award... but they didn't clarify if I actually became good.)
At night I like to go out on my own and meet with the Lord. On one such night I was sitting on a massive boulder on top of a hill at the back of our mission base. I had a book, my ipod, and a head-lamp and was jumping between reading and praying. I paused and asked the Lord what He wanted to speak to me, what was on His mind. I felt Him speaking to me about a next step.
It had been suggested that there might possibly be an internship available that would take place after the initial three month program. Although I didn't know much about it, I sensed the Lord telling me that I was free to be a part of it if I wanted to be. He explained that there would be opportunities and experience for me if I stayed. I felt like the Lord wanted me to think about what I wanted, weighing all that He had already shown me about His plans and why He'd brought me out there. I thought about it, and prayed about it, and peace came.
It's a reflection of God's goodness when, after praying and asking the Lord what He thinks and wants, we have peace from Him to walk toward the things that are dreams in our hearts. If left to our own faculties we would choose the rational and less adventurous every time.
Confirmation came the next morning when our leader talked about the internship for the first time. Up until that morning they didn't have a leader for the acting internship... but now they did. He explained that for those who stayed they would gain more experience and have more opportunities. :) God is so perfect in His timing and the words He uses to lead us in His ways- the best and most exciting ways.
More to come tomorrow :)
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